Things I Would Rather Do Than Watch the Debates by Ally Broadfield

posted in: Ally Broadfield | 4

the_shakespeare_club_montreal_1847I know there are some people who look forward to the presidential debates, whether they genuinely want to hear from the candidates, or because they have an awesome drinking game to play, but I am not one of them. I just can’t stomach the blatant lies, the personal attacks, the empty promises. And most of all, the lack of decorum. Someone needs to teach these people the art of witty banter and the ability to administer the cut direct so cunningly that his or her opponent won’t even realize it was administered.

So until politicians can learn to behave like Regency ladies and gentleman, I will be avoiding the debates and instead look to newspapers and other sources to determine how I will cast my vote.

Without further ado, here are twenty things I would rather do than watch the debates:

  1. Give my cat a bath.
  2. Run across a floor covered in Legos.
  3. Spend an entire night having that high school dream where I have I test I didn’t prepare for.
  4. Go back to high school and attend prom in the nude.
  5. Listen to SpongeBob laugh for twenty-four hours straight.
  6. Clean the elephant enclosure at the zoo.
  7. Be kicked by a donkey.
  8. Have every hair on my head plucked one at a time.
  9. Listen to the sound dogs make just before they vomit. Repeatedly.
  10. Clean a gas station bathroom.
  11. Watch toddlers have a tea party using my wedding china.
  12. Squeeze Ghost Pepper juice into my eyes.
  13. Eat a tarantula.
  14. Have a one week deadline to write a book.
  15. Have a thousand spiders crawl over me.
  16. Get sprayed by a skunk.
  17. Get stranded in an elevator.
  18. Be trampled by a herd of raging turtles.
  19. Run a marathon in wooden shoes.
  20. Leave my house on Black Friday.

 

So tell me, do you watch the debates? If not, what would you rather do?

Follow Ally Broadfield:

Ally lives in Texas and is convinced her house is shrinking, possibly because she shares it with three kids, five dogs, a cat, a rabbit, and several reptiles. Oh, and her husband. She likes to curse in Russian and spends most of her time letting dogs in and out of the house and shuttling kids around. She writes historical romance set in Regency England and Imperial Russia. She loves to hear from readers and you can find her on her website, Facebook, Goodreads, and Twitter, though she makes no claims of using any of them properly.

4 Responses

  1. Donna Repsher

    In other election years, I’ve looked forward to and watched the debates, but with these two Presidential candidates, I agree with you. This election year, the debates (and I’m including the primaries) have been like watching a group of 5-year-old children fighting over one toy. The candidates have been rude, they’ve lied, they’ve interrupted one another repeatedly, they’ve not answered the questions they’ve been asked and have totally ignored the moderators. I’m ashamed that the best my country could come up with are these two candidates for the Presidency.

  2. ki pha

    LOL to #3, but yes I agree! I had to change the channel when it came on last night and watched reruns of Criminal Minds instead. I tried avoiding the first one last month but unfortunately my siblings were listening to it and man, it was horrible. Extremely dreadful.

    • Ally Broadfield

      Ugh. The whole election is dreadful. I keep waiting for someone to step up and fix the situation, but it’s too late. We need a do-over.