Does This Dress Make Me Look Fat?

posted in: Uncategorized | 15

Woman in Dressing RoomI think there is a regimen that most women put themselves through when they’re shopping for clothes, especially when the purchase will be worn in a situation where we really want to make a good impression – a job interview, a fancy work party, or, egad, a first date. I look at magazine ads or pictures in catalogs and somehow get an idea that if I wear the dress the model has on I will look like the model. Even knowing that I don’t have long, straight, perfectly styled hair or a flawless complexion or well-proportioned limbs and other sundries (read boobs). But the most mystifying question is why I think a dress on a 5’ 10” 120 pound model will look the same on a 5’6” 175 pound woman.

In Red, White & Screwed, our heroine Glenda needs an outfit to wear Red, White, and Screwed eBook Cover Extra Largeto a fancy Anniversary Party her love interest, Chris, is throwing for his parents. Does any of this sound familiar?






The party at Chris’s was only two weeks away. I made myself an appointment to get my hair cut and my nails done and flipped through every catalog that came in the mail looking for an outfit that would make me look sophisticated. I couldn’t decide whether to be optimistic and order a size twelve or realistic and order a fourteen. I finally gave it up and went to the mall.

I tried a department store and hauled six outfits into the dressing room. Outfits one and two were too big on the top, too small on the bottom. My hips took on a life of their own in outfit number three. Four and Five were great on the hanger and ugly on my body. Outfit number six was polka dotted. I always try on polka dots. I’m not sure why.

I wandered out of the department store and window shopped. I did my very best not to look at the display in Finnegans. They have adult clerks, beautiful clothes and high price tags. My phone rang as I stood, drooling over a fussy, chocolate brown pant suit in Finnegan’s window.


“Hey. What are you doing?” Chris asked.

“Shopping for an outfit to wear to your parent’s anniversary party.”

“Having fun?”

“So far, everything is ugly, too expensive, or I’m too old or fat to be seen in it.”

“I don’t believe that for one second.”

“What did you do today?”

“I spent the day with my uncle at the office.”

“How did that go?”

“Good. I think I’m going to do it. He does a whole lot more than I ever expected. It’s a huge responsibility. He’s got a great staff, but the final decisions will be mine.”

“You sound excited.”

“I am. Lots of suit and tie stuff which I haven’t done for years. Lots of connections to make. Big shoes to fill, but I think I’m going to take a shot at it.”

“You sound worried, too.”

“It’s a big deal,” he said. “I don’t want to screw up.”

“You won’t. I think you’re going to be great at it.”

“I’ll call you tomorrow, honey,” he said. “You get back to your shopping. I love you.”

“I’ll talk to you then.”

I closed my cell phone with a snap. I thought about what Chris had said about suit and tie stuff and guessed his parents’ anniversary party would be his maiden voyage as the new Goodwich Foundation director. More outfit pressure. I needed help. Real help. I marched into Finnegan’s.

Follow Victoria Vane:

Romance Novelist

VICTORIA VANE is an award-winning author of smart and sexy romance with works ranging from wild comedic romps to emotionally compelling erotic romance. Her books have received more than twenty awards and nominations to include the 2014 RONE Award for Treacherous Temptations and Library Journal Best E-Book romance of 2012 for The Devil DeVere series. She lives the beautiful upstate of South Carolina with her husband, two sons, a little black dog, and an Arabian horse.

15 Responses

  1. Barbara Monajem

    LOL. I tend to try polka dots too. And calico! I was totally into calico in my late teens. Now, not so much, but it has a nostalgic charm for me.

    • Barbara Monajem

      No, I don’t mean calico. Now I have to try to remember what I do mean. The name escapes me for now. Um…. gingham!!

  2. annaojmortes

    Totally relatable. When I was younger I used to be a size 14 but started getting sick and lost A LOT of weight. It was hard for me then because everything I wanted to wear was too small. Now in my 30s I have to shop in Juniors bc other clothes are a bit too big or too expensive! I guess there is no making me happy 😉

  3. Glenda

    No polka dots for this Glenda, but the rest? Yep. Totally. Sigh.

    To make matters worse, I’ve got a 6ft daughter who weighs maybe 120. Sadly she has her mother’s (lack of) chest and longer legs and arms. Poor thing can never find clothes that fit right.